Ouch!

Well here I'm going to make yet another attempt to start blogging again. Hopefully, this will be more successful than my attempts to quit kicking puppies and robbing grannies.

In the past, I have often lamented the lack of a passion. Well, all that changed the other day when I bent over to pet the dog and bumped my head on a chair (I still suspect the dog may have intended this to happen!). Now, I have a scar on my head. If I'm lucky, I will be like Captain Ahab and the scar will turn white hot when I get angry. If I'm unlucky, I'll be like the Elephantman and have to wear a bag over my head to hide my ugliness from the world.

Back to my passion. My passion is to not bump my head any more. Of course the easy solution would be to cut off my head and put it in a safe, but I decided against that and turned to alternate solutions.
First I tried a headband with springs on it, but then I realized if I ever needed to head butt someone in a fight (which happens alot), he (or she) would bounce harmlessly backwards. Next I tied lots of stuffed animals to my head, but once again, this hampered my headbutting abilities (I want to be able to head butt in case that dog tries any more funny business). Finally, I settled on one of those old-timey diving suits. Sure it has its drawbacks...the saying,"He's about as popular as a fart in a diving helmet" means a lot more to me now. But at least I'll be saving face with the ladies. Think how dumb I'd look with a bag on my head!